


Message me

by Volo



Series: Too much fucking Davekat [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Awkward Flirting, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Hemoism, M/M, Multimedia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1457605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volo/pseuds/Volo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CG: I’M THE TROLL YOU GAVE YOUR CHUMHANDLE TWO DAYS AGO, BY THE WAY.<br/>TG: yeah i figured<br/>TG: i dont give my chumhandle to everyone i meet yknow<br/>TG: like a chumhandleslut<br/>TG: addicted to messages from strangers<br/>TG: sittin in front of my computer cryin cause my daddy never loved me when i don’t get new messages from people i exchanged like five sentences with</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I actually was planning to upload this later when I have finished the story but it's 4/13.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: This was my first Davekat fic and I wrote this while I was still pretty inexperienced as a writer. I have since then edited the story.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

This was a completely idiotic idea.  
This would never turn out how Karkat hoped it would. He knew that. Yet here he was, sitting in front of his computer chewing on his fingernails. How did you even start a conversation like this? Hello, you gave me your chumhandle and told me to message you?  
What if he didn’t remember him? The guy probably did this with everyone he met.

Karkat stared at his screen and finally typed something.

CG: HELLO.

That was good. Short, but still nice.

A few minutes later Karkat was still waiting for an answer. He probably just hadn’t seen it yet. He wasn’t ignoring him. Should he have written it without capslock? That just didn’t feel natural though. The guy had told him to write to him after all, he didn’t have the fucking right to not even respond now. He still remembered clearly how the boy had stood in front of him with one foot on his skateboard. It hadn’t been ironic, right? God knew he had babbled enough bullshit during the five minutes of their encounter. Okay, that was it. Karkat typed something else.

CG: YOU DOUCHEFUCKING ASSHOLE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

Karkat leaned back. Sat up again. No, shit, what the fuck was that? Past Karkat was such an idiot. The guy probably just hadn’t seen it yet or didn’t respond to people he didn’t know.

CG: I’M THE TROLL YOU GAVE YOUR CHUMHANDLE TWO DAYS AGO, BY THE WAY.

Well, he wouldn’t answer now. Karkat stood up and went back inside. It was one of the first really sunny days of spring this year and he had wanted to sit on the balcony of his shitty apartment, watch the people on the street underneath him and drink a cup of ice tea whilst chatting with a stranger who, well, might be romantically interested in him. It had seemed like a good plan.

He called Gamzee and told him what a retarded moron Past Karkat was and how he fucked everything up.

When he got back to his computer fifty minutes later, he saw that he had a message from turntechGodhead.

TG: yeah i figured  
TG: i dont give my chumhandle to everyone i meet yknow  
TG: like a chumhandleslut  
TG: addicted to messages from strangers  
TG: sittin in front of my computer cryin cause my daddy never loved me when i don’t get new messages from people i exchanged like five sentences with  
TG: even though i wouldnt wanna withhold them an experience like talkin to the strider   
TG: it changes their lives  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
CG: SHUT UP.

Apparently he was still full of horseshit.

TG: do you really want me to shut up karkat  
TG: do you  
CG: SEE, THIS IS FUCKING UNFAIR. I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.

Karkat had told him his name when he had asked. It had been a surprise, not many people who met him were that _interested_ since he was a troll and not even on the hemospectrum and also generally not that charming. So Karkat had told him without thinking about it. And immediately regretted it. It had been a dangerously careless move in a society that often favored humans and trolls higher on the hemospectrum. 

And he hadn't experienced any really dangerous situations yet, sure. But he'd seen how much everybody hated him. Often enough, some brainless fuckdicks ignored him when he tried to talk to them or did group projects with him and then lied and said he hadn’t done anything or shit like that. The police stopped him on the street insanely often. He had been to a big football game once and would never forget the things people had said to him. Most of his attempts at being nice to trolls had ended with them laughing with their friends about stupid things he'd said. And he hadn't even met that many humans yet. Humans mostly went to different schools. Nicer schools. Trolls whose blood color wasn’t blue weren’t even allowed to go to college.

His PC informed him with a sound that resembled one a dying bird would make that he had gotten a new message. He startled.  
It was impossible that a human wanted to talk to him, be his friend or even more.  
Not that they were better in any way.

TG: strider  
TG: dave strider  
TG: The dave strider  
TG: you may also call me  
TG: the amazing d  
TG: or douchefucking asshole i guess  
TG: if thats your thing  
TG: talk dirty to me and shit  
CG: NO, THAT WAS PAST KARKAT AND NOT ME.

That probably sounded strange...

CG: IT’S NOT LIKE YOU NEVER SAY STUPID SHIT.  
TG: no never  
TG: so whats with the caps lock  
TG: is that like your thing  
TG: do you do that all the time  
CG: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF PROPER PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING?  
TG: no whats that  
CG: HA.  
CG: HAHA. YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND IRONIC.  
CG: I'M SURE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE AMAZED.  
CG: SO DO YOU GO TO COLLEGE OR WHAT?

It was clearly time to not seem amazingly mocking of someone who had been fairly nice so far.

TG: i go to college and study music theory  
TG: at night i put on my disguise and hunt criminals who do not abide by the law  
TG: makin sure justice is served  
TG: bein all superheroy  
CG: OH JESUS. ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS?  
TG: cause this town aint big enough for me and those delinquents  
TG: killin these monsters, savin fair maidens  
TG: okay and fair knights  
TG: and also work as a dj in a nightclub

Time for some positive reinforcement to show “The amazing D” that his attempts at a conversation were somewhat appreciated.

CG: THAT SOUNDS COOL.  
CG: THE ACTUALLY TRUE PART, THE REST IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY DUMB.

Talking to humans was hard, okay? They just couldn't understand trolls the way other trolls did. And other trolls just couldn't understand what not being on the hemospectrum meant.

CG: I COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE TOO.   
CG: I’M AT LEAST AS SMART AS THOSE POINTLESS ASSHOLES WHO THINK THEIR BLOOD MAKES THEM OH SO SPECIAL AND FUCKBAGGING HUMANS WHO THINK NOT HAVING HORNS SHOULD BE REWARDED.  
TG: yeah i know  
CG: THEY HAVE THE SAME DISGUSTING CANDY RED BLOOD AND LOOK DOWN ON ME. THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE MORE THAN ONE QUADRANT, FUCKING PRIMITIVE, AND ACT LIKE THAT’S FUCKING COMPLICATED; BUT IT’S PATHETIC.  
CG: AND THEY CANT GET IN THEIR THINKPAN THAT TROLLS HAVE MORE THAN ONE QUADRANT AND NEED TO FILL ALL OF THEM.  
CG: THE VAST AMOUNT OF MOVIES THAT ARE COMING INTO THE CINEMAS RIGHT NOW IN WHICH A TROLL REALIZES HE ONLY WANTS THE RED QUADRANT FILLED AND THE REST IS FUCKING UNIMPORTANT AND THEN LIVES WITH THE HUMAN FUCKING HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND RIDES WITH THEM INTO A DISGUSTING SUNSET IS ABSOLUTELY STOMACH-TURNING.  
CG: AND THEN THERE ARE MOVIES IN WHICH HAVING THE BLACK AND RED QUADRANT FILLED AT THE SAME TIME IS TREATED LIKE CHEATING.  
CG: THAT JUST SHOWS HOW LITTLE THE GLOBEFONDLING CREATORS OF THESE MOVIES ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT TROLLS.   
CG: OR ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL.  
CG: IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE HOW THEY HAVE MANAGED TO KEEP ON BREATHING LET ALONE MAKE SOME KIND OF SHITTY, INSIPID EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE WITH HOW FAR THEIR HEADS ARE UP THEIR FUCKING INTESTINES.  
TG: listen  
TG: i agree  
TG: i mean you digressed a bit but  
TG: im over here holding up the little sign with the ten on it

What could Karkat answer to that? He wasn’t used to people agreeing with him when he said all of this. Karkat felt his chest clench.

Fuck this. He shouldn’t be thankful when somebody didn’t tell him that he was worth less than everybody else.

CG: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS FOR NOT SUCKING.  
TG: yeah man i totally feel your appreciation  
TG: so as what do you work then  
CG: I WORK IN A CINEMA. THE CUSTOMERS ARE SOMETIMES REALLY PRETENTIOUS CLOWNS; BUT I GET SO SEE A LOT OF MOVIES FOR FREE. SO YEAH, THAT’S NOT THE BIGGEST FUCKING BANE OF MY PATHETIC EXISTENCE.

He instantly regretted writing the word “pathetic” and cringed.

CG: I HOPE YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THESE PUTRID WORTHLESS HUMAN SHITSACKS WHO WOULD NOT RECOGNIZE THE IRONY IN PARTS OF THE ABOVE STATEMENT IF IT CAME FLYING ON A UNICORN AND HIT ON THEM.  
TG: the irony is that no one goes to the cinema anymore  
TG: brb  
CG: WE HAVE A LOT OF CUSTOMERS, YOU IGNORANT PSEUDO ELITIST BARBARIC SHIT.  
CG: WHAT DOES BRB MEAN?


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat waited for about twenty minutes. Then finally accepted that he had left and wasn’t going to answer.

The sun abruptly didn’t really feel warm on his skin anymore and he decided to go back inside. He took his laptop with him because its battery was running low by now. One could think that in the 22nd century computers should have evolved enough to run more than a few pitiable hours without being charged, but Karkat owned of course the most miserable and shittiest PC on earth.

He decided to call Gamzee again.  
At least he had one quadrant filled. One of the good things about his always intoxicated moirail was that it seemed impossible for Karkat to annoy him.

Still, even though he was his moirail, he hadn’t told him about the guy, only about how Karkat, especially Past Karkat, was a dumb grub. Gamzee was used to that by now.

Karkat was aware of the fact that he should share everything that happened with him, but the possibility of the guy just making fun of him was too real. And the embarrassment coming from merely thinking about that had been stopping him from saying anything about Dave.  
A small part inside of him also thought that Gamzee’s constant state of intoxication made him basically useless and extremely unhelpful. But that was a train of thought for the time between midnight and morning when he was unable to fall asleep once again and couldn’t bring his thinkpan to think about something else.

Right now this embarrassment had been replaced by embarrassment mixed with hope and that was enough for him to want to finally tell Gamzee.

But first, he needed to look up what “brb” meant. Undoubtedly some short way of saying: I thought you might be pretty cool, but it turns out you are rather whiny and somehow really bitchy and self-conscious.

The troll checked on a few websites and all of them said the same thing. That it most likely meant “be right back”.  
Other possibilities were “Benefits Review Board” or “Big Red Button” or some shit like that.  
He took his phone, dialed Gamzee’s number and took a deep breath when he finally heard his deep voice.

“What is up, best friend?”

“Gamzee!” he said. “I was just chatting with some guy for a while and- I don’t know, I was just being myself, you know. I mean, I was panicked in the beginning and insulted him, but- He’s such a stupid asspimple. He just typed brb and left, I mean, what the almighty fuck is that supposed to mean? I doubt that he will come back and I think that that was some kind of joke, like, he wants to make this idiot wait for him while he actually has already left. And in a few years he will think: Hey, remember that stupid troll I made think that I was going to reply again? Hahaha, I bet that dumb shit is still waiting. Look at me, I’m so ironic.”

Karkat mimicked the way he thought the douchebag might laugh.

“I wanted to write him what a vile shitsquatting disgusting pustule he is, but I might be just overreacting. I sometimes do that. You might know. But seriously, if he was interested in me, he wouldn’t just suddenly write three letters and leave without a real explanation. That is not really empathetic of him; he should realize that that would, uh, unsettle me a little bit. The people in my romcoms don’t do shit like that. They are victims of misunderstandings, but not shitty, weird misunderstandings like this.”

Maybe he wasn’t used to people who freaked out when he did something like that. And to people who weren’t used to the language humans and highbloods used.

Karkat stood up from his couch and went to make himself lunch since a glance at the clock had shown that it was already ten minutes past three in the afternoon.

“He might be interested... Listen to what he said when I first met him.”

The troll looked into his fridge.

“Ugh, I don’t want to eat ramen again. It was two days ago. I had finally finished work that day and was in a bookstore to buy that new book I told you about. The one thinkpanless maggots always say is really bad, but it isn’t. Fuck, I hate those eggs I bought a few weeks ago. They were fucking expensive for so tiny things. I wanted to have a bit variety and fucking healthiness and shit and that’s why I bought them, but I don’t ever feel like eating something that tastes like egg. They make me feel guilty, fuck. Do you think eggs can mold? And here is one tomato. Who said young adults don’t eat healthy nowadays. If I wasn’t completely broke, I would probably even eat more than one tomato per month. I don’t actually hate them.”

He snarled.

“But look at me. I have nothing but exactly five eggs, one tiny tomato, a goddamn bottle of wine, some crap from a vending machine, three energy drinks that taste like poison and one pizza in my freezer. I should really, really go to a grocery store. Anyway, when I left the bookstore that idiot crashed into me. He was on a skateboard and he crashed into me like the biggest fucking grub.”

Rolling his eyes, he closed the fridge.

“So obviously I yelled at him. See, he knows that I often yell at people. And he did look like an idiot, too. He was wearing really dark shades and it wasn’t sunny at all. I naturally told him that he is an insufferable prick.”

Karkat let the oven heat up and went to get the pizza.

“He was hot, though. The kind of hot that makes you briefly consider pulling him into the next empty street and kissing him. So I might have gone somewhat easy on him. He kind of stumbled off his skateboard and looked at me. His face was emotionless even though I was shouting at him, but then he fucking said ‘Sorry, bro’ and I was- I hadn’t really expected him to apologize.”

After all, Dave had seen the mandatory armband that showed the color of his blood.

“‘Bro’ is still a shit form of address, though. He asked me what my name is and I immediately told him because I was so surprised. Then he said ‘Well, Karkat, you sure are reading shitty books’ and pointed to the book that I had dropped. He said ‘And probably not even ironically’”

Enraged by that thought, Karkat pushed the baking tray with the pizza as violently as possible into the oven.

“I wanted to scream at him again and opened my mouth, but he held up his hands and said ‘Whoa, I managed to upset you even more, didn’t I? Wouldn’t have thought that’s possible.’ Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking?”

Karkat realized that, whenever he repeated what Dave had said, he subconsciously attempted to imitate his weird accent.

“‘Alright, I’m sorry, dude; I guess you can be into whatever you want to.’ And I said ‘Unless it’s skateboarding while taking selfies’ because that’s what the primitive fuckass was doing, can you imagine the idiocy? I explained to him how only a fuckbagging prick with no sense of self-preservation, politeness and reasonability would do that, especially when there are many people around.”

Retelling the story was a lot more fun than he had expected and he wondered why Past Karkat had been so dumb and not called his moirail earlier.

“He was like ‘Probably, man, but I gotta do it for the irony. How else can I be a noble knight of hipsterism? Not at all, that’s how. And where would we be now without that?’ I don’t remember what he literally said, but it went kind of like this and he kept on rambling and it didn’t seem like he was going to shut up soon. Maybe he was even rapping at points, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

There was a short silence when Karkat took a sip from the glass of tap water he had gotten. Gamzee didn’t say anything, he knew from years of experience that it was best not to interrupt Karkat when he had set his mind on rambling about something or telling a story that bothered him.

The troll was thankful for that. But sometimes Gamzee fell asleep during their telephone calls and books about moirallegiance didn't have advice on that. Karkat knew because he had looked for them for days.  
Who even knew what the hell that guy was up to when Karkat thought he was listening to him?

Karkat sat down and watched his pizza.

“So I said ‘Oh Lord, will you shut your mouth if I just accept your apology?’ He fucking interrupted me and-“

His computer made a sound like it was in great pain.

“Hold on, I got a message... He just sent me a picture? Anyway, we kept on talking like this a bit and then he asked me to show him the book. He opened it and I thought he wanted to read the first page and see if it was as bad as he thought, but suddenly out of nowhere he had a pencil and scribbled something down in the corner. I ripped the book out of his hands screaming and saw that he had written ‘turntechGodhead’. He said, ‘that’s my chumhandle. Message me, you’re cute, sorry, gotta go, bye.’ Then he fucking left on his skateboard.”

Karkat had rushed through this last part of the story, but remembering this made him cover his face with his hands.

Karkatwaited for a bit, but Gamzee didn't say anything. So eventually, he ended the call without another word. He knew that there were still a lot of things to tell his moirail, but he was really curious about what Dave had sent him.

Also he didn’t really want to find out if Gamzee had been listening or not.

Yes, maybe this moirallegiance was a bit fucked up and yes, maybe that was his fault. But it still worked out in the end.

Karkat opened the file.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent carcinoGenetist [CG] the file "awwyissm*****fuckinunicorn.exe" --


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made with MSPaint of course


	4. Chapter 4

CG: WHAT.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
CG: I HAVE NO WORDS.  
TG: that must be an exciting new experience for you  
CG: JUST.  
CG: WHY DID YOU CENSOR MOTHER.  
CG: NOT FUCKING.  
CG: YOU WROTE M*****FUCKING. THAT IS SERIOUSLY JUST AWFUL, IRONIC OR NOT.  
CG: HOW MUCH TIME DID YOU PUT INTO THIS?  
TG: uh about half an hour  
CG: ALRIGHT.  
CG: ALRIGHT...  
CG: WHAT IS THAT WHITE STUFF IN THE FIRST PICTURE.  
TG: clouds obviously  
CG: OBVIOUSLY.  
CG: HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT.  
CG: THIS IS THE SINGLE SHITTIEST, MOST AWKWARD THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.  
TG: good im glad i managed to impress you  
CG: DID YOU REALLY SPEND HALF AN HOUR OF YOUR LIFE MAKING THIS.  
TG: dude that quote was just too good to ignore it  
TG: you should feel honored  
TG: i even have an absolutely awesome webcomic  
TG: you should check it out  
TG: or youd miss an opportunity of a lifetime  
CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE  
CG: IT IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WANT TO DO.  
CG: RIGHT NOW OR AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE.  
CG: AND EVEN WHEN I’M A GHOST I’LL STILL SAY  
CG: GET DAVE STRIDER’S COMICS AWAY FROM ME OR SO HELP ME.  
TG: a looks never hurt anyone  
CG: I DOUBT THAT IN THIS CASE.  
CG: BUT FINE.  
CG: SEND ME THE FUCKING LINK.  
TG: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/  
TG: i have legions of devoted fans  
TG: i get a fucking mount everest of fanmail everyday  
TG: cant go anywhere without being recognized  
TG: its horrible  
TG: everytime i walk around a corner theres a whole bus of paparazzis jumping at me  
TG: shits gonna be made into a movie soon  
TG: i wouldnt have to go to college but i absolutely crave the sweet fruit of learning and wisdom cause  
TG: when i lie awake at night in the dark im all like  
TG: who am i what am i where is the purpose can a life be fulfilled without asking yourself these questions  
TG: or is asking the reason your life isnt fulfilled  
CG: JUST DON’T START RAPPING NOW.  
TG: opinion?  
CG: ON YOUR WEBCOMIC?  
CG: I DON’T THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW.  
CG: AND I, TOO, WANT TO FORGET THAT I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON THIS.  
CG: I WOULD CAPITALIZE THE WORD "THIS" TO INDICATE MY HORROR BUT YEAH.  
TG: just use asterisks  
CG: *THIS*  
TG: well done  
TG: so you like it  
CG: UGH  
CG: I MAY ADMIRE HOW SHITTY YOU WERE ABLE TO MAKE THIS.  
CG: BUT I STILL WISH I HAD NEVER SEEN IT.  
CG: AND WANT TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT AND SEND THEM TO YOU.  
TG: sweet a gift  
TG: thats close enough i guess  
TG: i have a blog too by the way  
CG: NOT EVEN IF YOU HELD A GUN TO MY HEAD .  
TG: fine  
CG: OH SHIT FUCKING DAMMIT, I JUST FUCKED UP THE EASIEST THING KNOWN TO HUMANS AND TROLLS.  
TG: what  
CG: MY PIZZA!  
CG: IT’S BURNT.  
CG: I’M LITERALLY NOT ABLE TO MAKE A PIZZA.  
TG: no way dude thats horrible  
CG: YOU CAN BE SARCASTIC AT ANY OTHER POINT.  
CG: NOT FUCKING NOW. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. I WANTED TO EAT THIS.  
CG: IT IS HORRIBLE, BELIEVE ME OR NOT.  
CG: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I HAVE IN MY FRIDGE.  
TG: man i totally believe you how could you do this to an absolutely innocent pizza  
TG: fucking atrocity   
CG: DON’T JOKE ABOUT ATROCITIES LIKE YOU NOW HAVE NEVER LOOKED INTO A HISTORY BOOK IN YOUR LIFE.  
CG: YOU’RE HUMAN, SO YOU MUST HAVE A GOOD EDUCATION.  
CG: DON’T ACT LIKE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS IDIOT.  
TG: wow this conversation turned serious fast  
TG: i know that this troll human bloodcolor thing is basically the most useless pointless and annoying thing ever  
TG: i even write about it on my blog  
TG: not directly but everything is a symbol for something  
TG: hidden messages everywhere  
CG: YOU TRULY ARE A HERO.  
TG: yeah man  
TG: uh yes so what are you gonna eat now  
CG: HUMAN FLESH.  
CG: I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: RAMEN PROBABLY.  
CG: I AM CONVINCED THAT BY TOMORROW MY BODY WILL HAVE MORPHED INTO A DIFFERENT, SUPERIOR SPECIES THAT COMPLETELY CONSISTS OF NOODLES.  
TG: the noodle monster  
TG: you can come to my house  
TG: i have pizza here  
TG: like motherfucking five star pizza  
TG: youve never seen a more delicious pizza  
TG: this pizza is so sick none of the doctors can find a cure  
TG: its pizza parents are crying hysterically its tragic  
CG: JESUS, YOU ARE AN IDIOT.  
CG: OKAY, I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE IF YOU WANT ME TO.  
CG: WHERE DO YOU LIVE?  
TG: 12 st john street  
TG: top floor  
CG: I’LL BE THERE IN ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
CG: (:B   
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
TG: hell yeah my thoughts exactly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hearts here, but that may have been moving too fast


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this, but meh... I really tried.

Karkat stared at the bells. A really big part of him didn’t want to push the one next to the label that read “motherfucking chez strider”. Everything just had to be super ironic with that idiot.

Before he could do anything the dirty glass door opened and Dave stood in front of him. He saw Karkat and smiled. Well, it wasn’t really a smile, but a Strider version of a genuine smile and definitely enough to make Karkat feel relieved.

“Were you really standing here the last five minutes?”  
“No, why the fuck would you think that?”  
“Dude, I saw you from the window.”

Well, shit. A change of subject was desperately needed.

“The weather is uncharacteristically nice.” 

Dave just smirked at him. Smugly.

He said “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

The building had 14 floors and 3 elevators. None of them worked, of course. That was, as Dave explained, the reason he lived here. Sometimes this irony thing was self-destructive. Karkat could only shake his head. Climbing the stairs, he at first attempted small talk about their jobs, his favorite movies, computer programming and high buildings. However when they arrived on the fourth floor, breath became a rare resource. 

On the tenth floor Karkat needed a break. He informed Dave using hand signals and then slumped against the grey wall. The floor probably hadn’t been cleaned in a while, but he didn’t care. He was used to dirt.

Dave sat down next to him panting and after a while said, “Yeah, sometimes I think about moving.”  
“Oh, sometimes? You mean once per year that thought crosses your mind, but then you think, ‘Nah, I’m a Strider, we don’t feel pain.” 

Karkat didn’t know Dave’s family, but it had to be at least a little bit fucked. Maybe not as fucked up as Karkat’s, but the guy obviously wasn’t fond of showing discontent.

Dave just shrugged and after a while, when both of them had mostly regained their breath and Karkat’s side stopped hurting, he looked at Karkat and said “But seriously, it would be fucking awesome if SBAHJ was made into a movie. Or more than one and the names would just be various misspellings of ‘sbahj the movie’ like ‘sbahj the moive’ or ‘sbahj the movovie’. And I would make sure that buying a certain title would sometimes ship you the wrong film. Or sometimes buying a film wouldn’t take money from your account but deposit some into it.”

He actually seemed enthusiastic about those ideas. 

Karkat shook his head incredulously. 

“If I was shipped a different movie than the one I’ve paid for, I would be really angry.”  
“Of course, Carcar, that’s part of the experience.”  
“Ugh, if I had a dollar for every time someone has called me Carcar, I could buy you fucking diamonds.”  
“You mean that wasn’t super ingenious and creative? Shit! I'm losing my street hipster cred? What about Karkitty?”  
“Don't even start. I could buy the world and then burn it to the ground.”  
“Damn... Kitkat?”  
“At least some fancy new technology.”  
“What’s your last name?”  
“Vantas, and I know exactly what you’re thinking. If you say Vantass now, I will throw you down those stairs!”  
“I warned you about stairs, bro! I told you, dog!”  
“Fuck you, I really wish I hadn’t understood that reference!”  
“Katty?”  
“Well, no one’s used that one before. It’s still mediocre though”  
“Then what about Cookie?”

What kind of idiotic idea?

Dave stood up and Karkat did the same and stared at him.

“’Cause you’re as sweet as a Cookie.”

Karkat had no idea how to react and just gazed at him while Dave leaned forward and pressed a light kiss on his nose. 

Then he took a step back and seemed unsure what to do.

“And, uh, the C sounds like a K and so it, uh, sounds a bit like Karkat. ...You just have to roll with it... You do like me, right?”  
“I... Yes.” There wasn’t much more to say.

A smile. Then Dave said “We’re not together, but- well, we’re not together yet – but how about a little holding hands action? We gotta make the best of the time we have until we get to my apartment.”  
“That sounds good.” Karkat mumbled.

When they walked up the stairs, hand in hand, Dave visibly trying to suppress a smile, Karkat felt an incredibly silly giggle rise up in his chest as he for the first time genuinely started to believe that this might actually work out, that this guy was honestly interested in pursuing a relationship with him and that, even though they would fight a lot and there were still many things they needed to talk about, they would get their happy end. Just like in his books.

Feeling confident, he stopped Dave and gave him a peck on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Have a great day, I love you all


End file.
